Womanly Influences - 1

As I posted last week, I have been thinking about how women use their influence. We all have spheres of influence even if we don't consciously think about them. There are times when we are unknowingly a good or bad influence. Because we know we will influence those around us, we should be very pro-active with using that position.

One of the first areas I want to ponder over (and this, of course, is merely some internet "thinking out loud;" I am not authority, and I am only beginning to mull these things over) is the influence women have through teaching children, and specifically in the environment of the Church. Think about it; most Sunday School teachers in the primary ages are women. There may be a few men here and there, but by and large, there are more women teaching children. The men make more of an appearance in the teen years; at least that's the way it is in my church, and I suspect we are pretty typical.

That's a lot of influence. As women, having young souls under our teaching is a great responsibility and whether we consciously make an effort to do so or not, we will influence these children. While it certainly may not be glamorous, and may not garner a lot of attention, helping to establish these young children in the foundations of our faith is a serious responsibility. Teaching children requires a lot of clarity because often young minds aren't adept yet at "reading between the lines," as older people may be. Children often remember the things you least want them to. There is a former Sunday school student of mine who is now a grown woman, and married with two children. In recent months she has reminded me of things I said when I was her teacher, and I was surprised that she remembered them; a couple of them, I didn't remember. It goes without saying, then, that as teachers part of our influence is using our words wisely.

In the context of teaching young children, we have an opportunity to provide excellent, biblical teaching. How is that accomplished? Through the "right" curriculum? No; not likely. As I have discovered throughout my years as a home school parent and Sunday school teacher, there is a lot of bad teaching material out there. I think that the task of teaching is best accomplished by the teacher being first and foremost, a student herself. As women teaching, we must be well-grounded in the Scriptures. Questions can come up from young mind that just aren't covered in the quarterly. While it is never a crime to say "I don't know," it is also not a crime to be well-prepared. Sometimes, we have to anticipate the questions. The best way to anticipate them is to be well studied. It's more than just reading; it's study that helps; thinking about truths from a doctrinal perspective as well as looking at Scripture to help us in daily life.

One thing I wish I had done more as a Sunday school teacher is show the students that the Bible is not simply a collection of moral stories. Primary age material teaches bible stories and that is good. But a lot of the message is about what to do; "Look at Joseph. He fled from sin. Now, go and do likewise." That is not a bad message; but it is an incomplete message. At some point, the bigger picture needs to be brought in. Sometimes, we forget the message about how God protected his covenant people, and the lesson that even though Joseph was put through the wringer, God meant it for good. Of course, modeling the behaviour of saints of the past is good, but as children get older, the bigger picture can make those stories make much more sense. Biblical literacy is about more than just knowing the stories; it is about making sense of why they are there. I think the younger we begin this, and more consistently we teach in that manner, the better. One of the most important things a young person must come to grips with as he gets older is why he believes what he believes; I think a diet of strictly moral stories won't help him. I think if we are going to use our influence wisely, our teaching needs to be richer.

Another thing I would like to see more of in all Sunday school material, and not just the primary ages, is an attention to the attributes of God. So much material, especially in the teen years, is "issues" oriented. A young person certainly needs guidance in dealing with the issues of life, but I don't see how he can do that without a proper understanding of who God is and, in turn, who he is before God. Knowing who God is begins with knowing what Scripture reveals about Him. How we respond to that knowledge will depend on what that knowledge is. A lot of teen Sunday school material and youth group teaching material deals with issues such as dating, self-esteem, peer pressure, decision making, etc., and while those are necessary, they are lessons that I believe ought to be secondary to learning about who God is. What we understand about God will inform those other lessons. And frankly, a lot of it is just a lot of psychology dressed up as theology.

Of course part of our influence as teachers involves our attitude, and much could be written about that, but I will just mention a few things I have learned with regard to teaching children and teens. First, be willing to be transparent. Young people, especially teenagers, don't want to feel like you have it all together while they don't. If we take ourselves too seriously, kids may not trust us. Second, be consistent inside and outside the classroom. That may involve being willing to see the students on days other than Sunday or on their youth group night. One thing you can do is invite them into your home and let them see you as a regular person. What we say has to be matched by what we do. That consistency is really important. And finally, mother them. I have found that mothering the kids of my church is the best way for me, a mother myself, to relate to them. In some of the more difficult situations, I have found it helpful to ask myself, "What would I do if this was my child?" That question can foster patience, mercy, and understanding. Mothering may simply mean just demonstrating an interest in their lives, giving them a ride home or paying attention to what is going on with them.

There is a girl in our youth group who has had some bumps along the way with her life. Divorced parents, difficult relationship with the father's "second" family, and some other challenges have all interfered with her growing up. However, she is one of the most regular attenders of our group. She doesn't participate in much, and she does not like to read the bible out loud, but she is there every week. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that she had lost quite a bit of weight. She is in 12th grade now and looking very grown up. She glowed when I mentioned to her how beautiful she looked. I put my arm around her shoulders and she put hers around mine and she said thank you. I don't know how many formal "lessons" of mine she will remember as she moves on in life, but I hope she remembers that I cared. That is what influence is about.