Girl Talk

Young, restless, and feminist. That's how I would describe many 20-something women. At her school, my daughter lives with a few of their ranks. There are a few of them attending my local church. Yes, feminists do attend evangelical churches.

One of the typical cries of feminists is "I don't need a man."

Well, that's not really an illuminating comment. Of course, we don't need someone else. I would be very grief-stricken if I lost my husband, but his existence does not determine my own continuation here on earth. However, aside from missing him terribly, practically-speaking it would leave many huge holes. I don't know how to change the oil on a car; I'd have to find someone else to do it. I can't get up on the ladder and fix the eavestroughs. I don't know how to fix the lawnmower when it won't start; I'd have to find someone else to do that. Either that, or spend time learning. Oh my, I may have to hire a man to help me.

By contrast, if I were to die, my husband would be very lost at how to run the household. That's fine. We're quite satisfied with having different roles, but feminists don't like that. They don't like being pigeon-holed, because that means that someone may be trying to limit them. Women can do anything, right? Women can do anything and everything at once, right? This is where it becomes evident that feminism and Christianity may not be happy partners; feminists can't do a thing about the fact that God may and does put limits on them.

Feminism has not really achieved anything for women other than to shift the balance of power, so to speak. It hasn't made women feel more content as wives and mothers or encouraged those nasty men to appreciate us more; it's simply given us easier access (and I'm sure some women would not agree with this, and would claim that in many ways, it's still a "man's world") to find contentment outside the home. Now, instead of men patting the housewives on the heads and assuming that they are rather obtuse, we have other women doing it. Isn't that cozy?

The sad thing is that lack of need has become a virtue. And it truly is sad. Even aside from living in a Christian worldview, where we are part of the Body of Christ and therefore hold ourselves accountable to one another, people do need other people. To put ourselves in a place where we fold our arms, shout "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar!" and petulantly assert, "I don't need a man" is making ourselves little islands. I think interdependence is far superior to independence.

I have a friend who lost her husband two years ago. I know she's managing without him. But if I were to say to her, "Well, I guess you really don't need him," she just might punch me. And no, it's not just because of his help around the house; it's much deeper than that. To evaluate a man's value just by his financial contribution or his workbench in the garage is really missing the point. She misses him for deeper reasons than those.

Just when I was tempted to grumble at my "lot" in my house, God has shown me what the extreme of that view is: that it's all about me. Today is thursday; I usually share a thankful thought on Thursday.

Today, I am thankful that I have a husband, and that I depend on him (shock! choke! sputter!) financially and emotionally. And God knows about it all.