The difficult questions of the young

A set of circumstances caused my 17 year old son to make a frustrated comment to me this past weekend. His comment was this: "Sometimes, I just don't like Christians."

I've heard that before. I've probably thought it before. The truth of the matter is that within the church, we tend to expect more from our fellow Christians. If an unbeliever utters a nasty comment or judges us harshly, we chalk it up to the fact that he is unregenerate and "doesn't know any better."

However, when it comes to the other members of the Body of Christ, we expect them to know better. Unfortunately, the regenerate still has a sinful, selfish heart, and he says and does things that are not gracious or helpful. It is hard to explain this to young people. It continues to surprise me how our young people come to the conclusion that being a Christian makes us free from error. The promise of perfection while here on earth does not exist in Scripture, yet our young people often get the idea that being in Christ means a trouble-free life. Could it be that when speaking to young people about the importance of being born again we are pushing an agenda that says, "Join up for this and your troubles will be over?" I think that could be the case sometimes. Perhaps many of our evangelism efforts with young people too often resemble carefully planned marketing schemes than they do careful, honest preaching of the gospel.

My answer to my son was that I, too, dislike Christians at times. I followed it up with the fact that I am probably disliked by other Christians at times, and so is he. I reminded him that we are not perfect, that we make mistakes, do stupid things and are unkind. And I reminded him that all we can do is continue to make an effort to love our fellow Christians even when it is hard.

I'm sure anyone who has teenagers knows that this is hard for a young person to accept. Young people today really want leadership. They want godly people in their lives. And they want to know that adults like them. That may not be readily apparent, but it is true. One of the biggest issues for teenagers today is for them to know that someone is willing to look beyond their exterior, their bravado, their "image." That takes work.

This is the best advice I can give my son with regard to this issue:

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart (I Peter 1:22).

Part of seeking a holy life before God means loving others even when it is hard. I am hoping that my son will work at that lesson. It's the only way to co-exist within the Body. There is no promise that others will do the same, but this is not about others: it is about him. The best lessons are often the hardest ones.