I am not what I would consider an overly competitive person. I am not a really sports minded person who has to win at everything I play. If I was a golfer, I wouldn't be the kind who tries to wrap my nine iron around a tree if I hit a bad shot and started doing poorly ... for instance, like my brother did on one occasion. Now, there was someone competitive. Maybe that's why he's the one with all the money, driving a Mercedes. While is it nice to win a game, I am not broken up if I lose.
Through a set of circumstances, ie. a huge snow storm, my lesson for the ladies' Sunday school class was put on hold. I was to teach two weeks, and I had visions of a two part lesson. It's not to be. I have one kick at the can this Sunday. I had originally thought about teaching about God's sovereignty, but I had a brain wave a while ago, and decided that I would talk about sin. Specifically, "little sins" and how they can become big sins. Whose idea was this? Jerry Bridges, of course! I decided to get out my copy of Respectable Sins, review it and flesh out some principles from it to teach the ladies. As well, I could promote a really good book.
What I will be doing is introducing briefly the doctrine of sin, how it is inherited through Adam, creates a situation of separation from God. I will discuss that sin, while being forgiven through Christ, remains part of who we are; and the reality is that we will struggle with it as we seek to be righteous before God. Then, I am going to introduce the principle that "little sins" like the ones Bridges talks about in his book, are still sins, still reflect a heart attitude, and can snowball into big ones. I can't address all the sins, and probably will only have time for two, so I've chosen envy, jealousy, competitiveness and control (Chapter 18 of Respectable Sins discuss these).
I was thinking a lot about the issue of competitiveness, because parents can be really competitive when they get together and start comparing notes. Oh, my little boy runs so fast; look, Junior got an A on his paper; oh, my little Susie is doing brain surgery at the local pre-school. Now, competition, can be a good thing, because it does motivate us to do our best, and we are exhorted to do our best for the Lord, as in Colossians 3:23: Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.
That being said, I agree with Bridges when he says this:
I question, however, whether a competitive spirit is a Christian virtue.
The problem with competition is that it can very quickly become less about doing our best for God and more about glorifying self. Remember: winning means that someone else loses. Winning a competition means you want to come out ahead of the other person. Competition, while bening quite an innocent thing in a game of tennis or Scrabble (I currently have three Scrabulous games going on my Facebook, and I'm being trounced in one of them!), taken to an extreme, it can feed our desire for self-exaltation.
In this same chapter, where Bridges talks about jealousy and envy, he refers to a passage of Scripture in I Samuel 18:6-9, where David returns from battle and he is lauded for his success. Saul became very jealous of David, and the consequences followed both of them. Saul envied the applause David was receiving because he wanted the applause for himself. This attitude of jealousy can exacerbate someone who is already overly competitive; and very often, a these two weakness work together. When competition in sports or business or academics begins to make people bitter about the accomplishments of others, then it is a problem. As a parent, if I meet the success of someone else's child with bitterness or envy and push my child to work harder in order to be better, then I am being sinful. The motive for doing one's best is to please the Lord.
There is a little rivalry in our town between the two high schools. One of them is a Roman Catholic High School, and for some reason, they seem to have a lot more money than the other school. Oh, they're both considered "public" schools, because they receive the same amount of tax funding; the Catholic school has an element of "religion" in it. I think the only big difference between them is that the Catholic school features girls who wear their skirts too short, and there is a picture of the Pope in the foyer. My daughter went to that school, and if it was religion they were teaching, it wasn't good religion from a Protestent perspective or a Catholic perspective.
Anyway, there is a popular belief that the Catholic school is more "academic." It's kind of a nasty snobbery in many ways, because the kids aren't gracious to one another about it. We have kids in our youth group who go to both schools, and they're equally obnoxious about their schools. And unfortunately, some of the parents share that snobbery. The academic snobbery bugs me occasionally, because while I am a huge supporter of academics, I think there is a real danger in building arrogance in a child when we encourage ungodly competition in the academic realm. When academic achivement is not seen as a gift from God and used as a means to glofiry His name, then it can be very problematic. There are far too many "smart" Christian teens out there who are spiritually apathetic; I know some of them. As parents, we need to ensure that we aren't asking our kids to compete in this arena for their own glory or our own. It's hard sometimes, because often that stereotypical image of the preppy, clean cut kid with the short hair and the straight A's is often viewed as THE perfect Christian kid. Sort of like Richie Cunningham with religion.
I'm a very average piano player. I have the most above-average piano teacher a person could have. She's amazing. She's also one of our musicians at church, and she is a very, very humble person. Sometimes, when I watch her play, I think, "Will I ever be able to play as well as she does?" I suppose I could push myself and practice for hours and live and breathe the piano in order to get better, but why? I don't need to be better than she is. Now, if I felt called to start using music as a way to serve God as she does, maybe I would do that, but if my motive is just to be better for the sake of my own vanity, then I don't think that's a good motive.
The apostle Paul does talk about winners and races (I Corinthiansn 9:24). However, the difference between a running race and a race within the Christian life is who the winner is. As Bridges says:
In a race, only one runner wins and receives the prize. But in the Christian life, we may all receive the prize. Paul is not urging us to compete with one another.
